9 Tips to Elicit Speech From Your Child

#1 Don’t Anticipate Their Needs and/or Wants

Do NOT anticipate every need or desire your child might have before they let you know. If they get what they want or need without ever having to ask for it, then they will never feel the need to communicate it. There's no reason for them to do so. 

In order to do this properly you need to have the cooperation of the whole household. This means that siblings, parents, grandparents, and anyone else who lives, or is a frequent visitor to the house needs to know not to talk for your child. Family members can be a great help with speech and language, but in this instance if you stop anticipating but no one else does, then there will be no change, because your child will just start to depend on someone else to speak for them.

Here are some examples of creating a situation where your child will need to communicate a need or a want.

Example 1: When your child is not in the room with you, place a toy that you know they will want in a place that is completely visible but they cannot reach. Later when your child comes into the room, wait for them to communicate to you that they want the toy, either by saying so out loud or with gestures, such as pointing or bringing you over to the toy and trying to reach.

Example 2: When setting the table for dinner, leave something off from your child’s place setting, whether that be a cup, plate or silverware, but give it to everyone else. When everyone sits down to eat, your child will notice that they are missing something that they need, but wait until they communicate by gesturing or speaking to give it to them. 

Example 3: When getting your child dressed for the day, pretend to forget to put one of their shoes on and move on to the next part of your routine. Your child will likely prompt you in some way to put their other shoe on, whether that is by gesturing or speaking. 

Remember that you are not trying to frustrate your child, but you are teaching them to communicate and ask for the things that they need. Don’t taunt them by withholding things but do make it clear that if they need or want things they will have to communicate that to you.

#2 Wait Before Responding to Their Gestures

Wait before responding to your child’s gestures, pointing or babbling when they want things. These gestures are still your child’s attempt at communication even though they are not speaking, so you do have to respond eventually to them as they are considered forms of nonverbal communication. However you CAN delay your response by up to 20 seconds in order to give your child room to perhaps verbalize their communication, but after 20 seconds respond appropriately to the gestures that they gave you.

If your child does attempt meaningful speech , you should respond immediately to show them the success of their communication. Show them that verbal communication is more rewarding, things happen more quickly when they verbalize and people understand them.

Example 1: When your child points to the grapes in the fridge, you might say, “I’m not sure what you want. Do you want cheese? (pause), some juice (pause), a napkin (pause), your teddy (pause).” Eventually you might say, “ some grapes? (pause) Oh, you want grapes.” Then as you hand them some grapes, you might add, “grapes”. However, don’t expect or ask them to say grapes right then. 

Example 2: When your child takes your hand and leads you to the TV because they want to watch the show they watch every afternoon, you might say, “What do you want? (pause) Go outside? (pause); Get a snack (pause); Sit on the couch? (pause).” Eventually you might say, “watch TV? (pause). That’s what you want, to watch TV!. Next time tell me. Let’s watch TV.” Again to ask or expect them to verbalize the words right then. 

#3 Your own Speech

Use concise clear speech when talking to your child. By the time a child is 1 year, you should never use baby talk with them. Even when they say a word incorrectly, in a cute way, rather than repeating it back the way they said it, pronounce the word back correctly and then use it in a sentence. 

Example 1: If your child says “banky” for blanket, don't respond, “banky-yes-banky.” Instead, you could say, “blanket-yes-this is your blanket.”

Labeling things in your everyday speech is a good and helpful exercise. Label nouns and verbs like spoon, when you take a spoon out of the drawer or say, “I am walking” when you get up to move. 

Always make your child feel good about making the effort to use meaningful speech. However, if they use jargon or unintelligible babbling, don’t pretend to know what they said. Instead, tell them that you don;t understand what they're telling you. It is never helpful to pretend to know what your child says or make a guess. That teaches them that you CAN understand the speech that you really can’t and so they will continue to use it.

Example 2: After your child tells you something that you did not understand, you might say something like, “You talked. I like that. But I don’t know what you said,” and accompany it with a gesture like shrugging your shoulders or putting your hands out in question to let them know. Hopefully this will prompt them to try again, but it may not and you should not force them. 

#4 Books and Reading

Choose books that are colorful and exciting but simple, with pictures that are not too complex. Reading to a one year old is different than reading to a two year old is different than reading to a three year old and so on. You might make up your own simpler version of the story by the pictures(depending on the age and level of child you are reading to) rather than reading the words as written. Point out what is happening in the picture and the things that you and your child talk about. 

Also remember that younger children have much shorter attention spans than older children, so you will have to turn the pages more quickly for a young child if you want to keep their attention to the book. 

Example 1: If the book shows a picture of a farm, rather than reading about what he farmer does every morning you might say, “look there’s a tractor, and the chickens are waking up”, rather than “The farmer had a lot to do today, he started with going out to the barn to check on the animals.”

#5 Self-Talk

Similar to labeling, keep up a steady stream of speech around your child, talking about what is happening and what you are doing and seeing. . Your child does not have to pay close attention to your self-talk, they just need to be within hearing range. Be sure to use clear concise speech and short phrases and sentences. 

Example 1: When you and your child are picking up toys, you might say,”pick up teddy, put in basket, pick up block, put in bin, pick up toy, put away, all cleaned up, all done.”

Example 2: When setting the table you could say, “fork, knife, fork, knife, plate, put plate down, etc.”

Example 3: When you sit on the couch to read a book, you might say, “sit down, pick up book, read, turn page, read page, read, turn, etc. “